Hey, everyone. Marcosias here. It’s been a while.
I know I haven’t been keeping up with any of my commitments recently – reviews, updates, creation stories… I haven’t even posted another chapter of that novel I was working on.
So, to keep this blog somewhat active, I decided to rant a little bit. “Oh, joy”, I know.
Today’s rant is a little bit random, so I apologize in advance if I get off topic. But there is a lot I want to say, while still trying not to come off as mean, aggressive, or otherwise super negative.
So, hang on, ’cause here we go.
First of all, I’d like to say, everything is wrong in this world. Countries going to war, people dying of famine and diseases, and world leaders lying to others, cheating them, and then destroying them. I know I make it sound like something out of an anime, but it all feels like someone wrote a really bad movie plot.
And, in all honesty, I’m sure someone called it. Whether it’s “the guy from Wikileaks”, (whom I will refer to by name, Julian Assange), or some random kid in the middle of nowhere, someone saw everything coming, knew what was going to happen, and maybe even tried to warn the pubic.
But, more than likely, they were ignored.
Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned from personal experience, it’s this:
No one does anything without reason. Everyone does what they do for their own personal gain.
Maybe this statement is untrue for some people. Maybe it’s just an outright lie. But tell me, when was the last time you did something for someone without expecting some sort of reward.
Humans take and give things to satisfy their own needs. No matter who they are, what they do and don’t do is set by their personal values. These values aren’t inherent by race or gender, or even by family.
A person’s values and actions are dictated by experience.
Maybe you saw someone give money to a homeless person, and you think it’s right to give every homeless person you see a donation. Maybe, when you were younger, you were told countless times that Muslims are all terrorists, and that if you become friends with them, they’ll kill everyone you love.
That kind of thinking, whether morally good or bad, is wrong.
This isn’t to say that I’m not like this. Even writing this post, I’m questioning everything I’ve ever been taught.
Should I be friends with that person, or should I cut that person out of my life? Maybe I should hate this race, or love that one? Maybe religion is good, or maybe it’s the cause of everything wrong in this world? Maybe I should murder everyone? Maybe I should kill myself, and just be done with it all?
Every day, I question if I’m following the “right” path. Every day, I question if I’m the same person as the Marcosias from yesterday, or even an hour ago.
But there is no right path.
There is no one calling the shots, saying that everything will be okay, if we all follow these rules.
Because we all have different values.
Different experiences create different views of the world and it’s people. That’s why we create relationships. Because we can relate with their views.
If everyone in the world could stop bickering for ten minutes, and just breathe a breath of fresh air, maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess.
World War 3 is coming, and we may not be able to stop it.
But we may not be able to survive it, either.
I’ve been talking all this time about values and the human condition, but I really just wanted to talk about time.
We’re all on a time limit. And that limit is both extremely long and horribly concise.
We always say, “I can’t wait until X happens,” or “I remember Y happening like it was yesterday”.
That’s because we will all run out of time eventually.
It takes forever to happen, but it happens in an instant. And once that instant passes, it’s gone forever.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about how much time I have left. I wasted my childhood, hoping to quickly become an adult so I could do whatever I wanted.
But now that I’m here, I’m just lost and confused. All of the skills I thought I had are mediocre at best. I live with a friend because I can’t support myself alone. Besides that, I’m paranoid that one day, a bunch of goons in black will come for me, either to kill me or capture me.
I’ve constantly tried to commit suicide, but with no luck. I’m a coward who refuses to fight, gets bored quickly, and loses interest in everything I do.
Maybe I’m the last person who should be saying all of this. But I am.
I’m not really sure myself.
But it’s something I want to say, whether it’s intelligent or not.
Whether it’s correct, or not.
Whether I die tomorrow, or I live to see the final sunrise.
We are all running out of time. Whether our clock ends tomorrow, or 30 years from now, we need to realize that our time is limited.
So, to everyone who reads this:
Please do the Right thing.
Whether it’s helping your child write his essay, or telling that guy who stole something to put it back. Maybe it’s being friends with the kid who’s being bullied, or even writing a letter to a soldier fighting in a war.
Do what’s right, not what helps you.